Learning to Be Loved the Way God Loves Me

This week, God has been showing me something… softer.

I’ve been sitting in the book of Song of Songs, and I didn’t expect it to meet me the way it did.

God is gentle.
Affirming.
Secure.
Intentional.
Protective.
Steadfast with His bride.

As I read, I noticed how He speaks.

He keeps calling her beautiful. He invites her in—to speak, to be seen, to be present with Him. He looks at her… and you can feel how much He longs for her.

And it made me pause.

Because I started realizing something…God doesn’t see me the way I sometimes see myself.

And if I’m honest…sometimes we don’t fully see Him either—because of the way we see ourselves.

My husband asked me a question this week:

“Why do you believe it’s hard to love God?”

And without even thinking, I answered:

“It’s not because God is hard to love…it’s because we find it hard to love ourselves.”

And then I said something that stayed with me:

“You can only love to the capacity in which you love yourself.”

I didn’t even realize what I was saying in that moment…until I saw how he received it.

Because what came next… I wasn’t ready for.

The way he began to pour into me. The way he affirmed me. The way he spoke to me with intention and care…It reminded me of God. Of how He speaks to His bride in Song of Songs.

And it made me realize…maybe I’ve struggled to fully receive love—not because it wasn’t real…but because of how I’ve seen myself.

What stood out to me is that even the beloved had insecurities.

She talked about the work she was given—how she labored in the fields, how the sun had darkened her skin.

And as I read that, I paused.

Because part of me thought…why would that even be something to point out? But then I remembered the context.
The time.
The culture.

And still…King Solomon called her beautiful. He didn’t see her the way she saw herself.

He compared her to a garden—something cultivated, something intentional, something worth tending to.

And I saw myself in that. Because if I’m honest…I can be hard on myself.

My husband says it to me all the time: “Be nice to my wife.” And it sounds simple…but it’s something I’m still learning how to do.

Because sometimes I walk into spaces already feeling like I’m being picked apart. Even in my own family.

It’s not always said harshly…but it’s rarely just a compliment.

There’s usually something attached to it. Something that makes me feel like I have to explain myself…defend myself…justify who I am.

And without realizing it…I started doing that to myself. I started seeing myself through a lens of correction instead of a lens of love.

But reading Song of Songs reminded me of something so important:

Just because I see a flaw…doesn’t mean that’s what God sees. And just because I’ve been spoken to a certain way… doesn’t mean that’s how I’m meant to be loved.

God is teaching me to keep running back to Him. To remember that I belong to Him…and that He sees me without blemish or flaw.

Thank you, Jesus.

I’m learning that God truly did send my husband. And that I don’t have to strive to be loved…I just have to run into the arms of my beloved—the one my soul loves—and allow myself to be watered in the moments I feel insecure.

Because maybe the goal isn’t to rely so heavily on myself. Maybe it’s to lean. To lean on God…and to receive the love of the man He sent me—without resistance, without overthinking, without trying to do it all on my own.

And maybe that’s what I’m learning in this season:

I am already loved.

Fully seen.
Fully known.

And I don’t have to earn that…

I just have to receive it.